It is any virile man’s fascination to perform longer in bed and making the partner achieve pleasure. Improving his performance is always his motto and goes to any extent in spending time and money.
What is the chance for Viagra to help you last longer in bed? The latest research published in the Journal of Sexual Medication reports positive.
14 different studies were thoroughly researched by experts mainly to monitor the effects of phosphodiesterase type 5 inhibitors—which are drugs like Viagra and Levitra used for erectile dysfunction on men who have the deficiency of premature ejaculation (PE). Out of these studies, eleven studies showed that medication helped extend the time they could go before achieving orgasm.
The researchers were of the opinion that in spite of the evident correlation, it’s hard to determine whether or not the ED medication was behind the delay in orgasm as many of the studies were not clearly evident to establish the desired results against a controlled result. If the requirement is to delay your climax, you are encouraged to check out the following tips:
a) In Stop-Start Technique: You have to get used to building your excitement so that you’re almost at that point of no return, as stated by Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. He is an authority in the subject and sex researcher at Indiana University and he has written the famous book ‘Great in Bed.’ After starting stimulation, when you feel too aroused, stop the activity for a brief moment. It is recommended to have a break of 5 to 10 seconds as suggested by Herbenick —so that your arousal is temporarily stopped. You can get ready to release after repeating this technique a few times.
b) Squeeze Technique: As you are close to your ejaculation, take a break for your stimulation and hold tight right below the head of your penis, as suggested by Herbenick. Concentrate on the urethra—the tube running along the underside of the penis—as this will temporarily hold your ejaculatory response. After holding back the arousal, repeat the same procedure many times before reaching climax, as stated by Herbenick.
c) Rely On Rubbers: Using a desensitizing condom is a highly effective method for pushing back your ejaculatory response. The condom is smeared with the desensitizing lubricant benzocaine, which will help you to delay the ejaculation by few a more minutes. Take care that condom is not put inside out, so as to avoid the Benzocaine ending up inside her vagina, says Herbenick.
But the more you try to delay and last longer in bed; you end faster as with lots of others sharing the deficiency. “Every man tends to suffer from premature ejaculation at some point or the other,” says Thomas J. Walsh.
Dr. Walsh advises two methods primarily as a remedy to premature ejaculation: physical and psychological treatments. Physical remedies stimulate the sensations while having sex, psychological solutions control your worry or stress, which could be the prime reason behind your quick trigger.
Just to keep in mind that the time-delay isn’t the most important component for avoiding premature ejaculation and having great sex. Here, Dr. Walsh and other experts highlight a few of the most helpful techniques in effectively controlling premature ejaculation (PE). Dr. Walsh recommends taking trials on your own before attempting them during sex.
Generally, this refers that you will have a proper control over your own body neurophysiology or how your body responds to physical sensations, Dr. Walsh gives his explanation. There are different types of biofeedback, he says out of which the most common for avoiding premature ejaculation is to bring yourself right to the edge of orgasm before stopping all sexual or masturbatory activity until you are in a position to bring your excitement under control.
Also known as “edging”—one of the 5 Off-Beat Sex Trends to Try—practicing this technique can help to better control your orgasm response by training your brain and body, adds sex therapist Emily Morse.
It is mandatory to use a lot of lotion or lube while you practice edging to avoid chaffing yourself, she advises.
Once you feel your orgasm coming on, stop and squeeze beneath the head of your penis. Squeeze with pressure carefully by using your thumb and forefinger and concentrate the pressure on the urethra—the tube lining along the underside of the penis, as advised by Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex therapist and a famous author of ‘She Comes First’.
The squeeze technique can assist you to delay your ejaculation in bed by clearing blood out of the penis and thereby reducing sexual tension, which can control the ejaculatory sensation, Kerner says. “This is similar to biofeedback, like edging.” Dr. Walsh adds.
When you help her out with her orgasm first—could be with your mouth, your fingers, or a toy—the knowledge that she’s enjoyed an orgasm may reduce some of the pressure you’re feeling to have a longer ordeal in bed, Kerner says.
Just like the stuff dentists’ apply on your gums for a temporary numbness, before giving an injection, there are topical sprays called “local anesthetics” that can be applied to your penis to control the sensation and thereby avoid premature ejaculation, Dr. Walsh says. “When used properly, you can adjust the amount of desensitization with these sprays, without affecting your partner,” he adds.
But be warned: You may have difficulty to stay erect during sex due to the lack of sensation he says.
Take care to use thicker condoms. This helps to practice safe sex, so while purchasing and make the condom for your partner a little thicker stuff. You have to be sure to find the right size condoms for him. Also be sure that there should be any doubling up of condoms to make up for size disparity.
There are a lot of men who depend on pills to get an erection for sex. In Europe, different legally permitted drugs are available that can help you to last longer in bed, Dr. Walsh says.
The problem: Such drugs those are used to treat PE are not approved by The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) in the U.S. “Trials show these drugs are genuinely benefitting men with premature ejaculation, but the FDA sets very high standards for drugs used to treat non-life threatening conditions,” Dr. Walsh explains.
Ask an Expert
If you have tried different options to have better sex without success, it is high time that you discuss your problem with a sexual dysfunction specialist, Dr. Walsh says.
“The treatments like edging and biofeedback are highly useful but challenging techniques which could be used very positively with the guidance of a specialist.”
Your doctor can give a referral to a Urologist, who can do the treatment by himself or refer you to a Specialist who could be the right person for your problem.
“He or she will help you approach this systematically,” Dr. Walsh says, adding, “It’s not making a change about your inner self but about learning the physical or mental mechanisms that can help you avoid premature ejaculation.”
It’s always a practice to equate sexual prowess with sexual stamina. Amazing-and-short sex is undoubtedly more preferable to awful-but-long banging. Most people never go past the five-minute mark, but research shows that generally almost half of men orgasm in two minutes or less. A 2017 survey by British sex toy retailer Love-honey found that on the average 10 minutes sex session is (19 if you include foreplay). According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine research, people want to last 10 minutes in sex. Again as per the study, seven to 13 minutes is a "desirable" length of time to complete one round of sex. But if your sex life feels like a hundred meter dash and you need a slow 400-meter relay to finish off, the following are some guidelines for improving your mileage.
1. Encourage Masturbation: Encourage him to masturbate beforehand. Know that having sex without masturbating is "like going out there with a loaded gun." Ejaculating an hour or two beforehand makes it difficult for a man to come quickly. At the required time, he can be aroused again with necessary slow and intimate foreplay with your partner, thereby giving necessary excitement and satisfaction. From there on, he can better catch up with his partner's rhythm."
2. Men’s Refractory Period: Men’s refractory period should always be given positive consideration. Sex need not be limited to one session at any time. May not be workable for one and all, but as per marriage therapist Lisa Thomas, he can always go for the second round within a few minutes after his first ejaculation. “For most of the men, sensitivity might be lesser during the second erection,” Thomas explains. After waiting few minutes after the first session, there could be a compromise foreplay session for both. This can get it up relatively quickly, by which you could have better results in round two.
3. Try Variety of Positions: Always try something new, different and out of the ordinary in bed. With the same partner continuously for a while, your routine sex positions could make his body anticipate coming, thereby a lot sooner. New positions and sensations could make the scenario very different which will distract him and make him last longer. "It is better to have different types of positions thereby making it more awkward and unfamiliar, which will definitely make a better experience," says Greer.
4. Edging: Edging is definitely worth trying. Just before attaining orgasm, let him have a break by which he can stop and wait about a minute or so before starting again. At some point he will have an orgasmic point of no return, an "ejaculatory inevitability" as sex researcher Dr. Ian Kerner puts it. Edging is a technique where the body is trained to delay that point as much as possible so that he can spend more time on the edge.
5. Squeezing: It is very effective to squeeze the base of his penis. This is an old technique suggested by sex researchers Masters and Johnson. This can be done with your hand or using a suitable cock ring. This is very effective literally to stop him from ejaculating.
6. Exercises: Have him do the well-established exercises like Kegels, yoga, and pilates. All of these exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, helping him to control orgasm spasms.
7. Special Positions: Perpendicular sex positions can be very effective in such requirements. This is technically an outer course position, but highly sensitive areas can be avoided thereby delaying ejaculation. "Here, he is not entering her but she will glide back and forth along the top of the shaft," says Kerner. Face each other on your sides, and it can still be highly enjoyable without making him rush to orgasm.
8. Medication: Medicate. In some situations, it might be a good suggestion, recommended by your partner also to see a doctor. If premature ejaculation is a serious issue negatively affecting your relationship, a variety of medicines are available. Even though there are so many over-the-counter supplements boasting of their ability to improve a guy’s stamina, it is better to find an expert in the field to have an in-depth knowledge of the details. Best is to discuss with a Specialist Urologist who can advise regarding the issues and what steps can be taken.
Roughly 30 percent of men are affected by premature ejaculation at some point in their lives. This can be a major embarrassment to seek advice/solution. Usually, a guy with PE will climax within two minutes into sex, as against seven minutes of the average man.
For one man, who has managed to overcome his issues with PE, has shared his three top tips lasting longer in the sack.
Ian Kerner became a sex therapist after curing himself of his problem and became an author about pleasing women in bed. He wrote: “Through much of my life I’ve suffered from sexual dysfunction, and it is very humiliating, with anxiety and despair for not being able to satisfy a woman.”
Here are Ian’s three methods for mastering longer sex-sessions.
1) Master the mini-orgasm
In an article for Men’s Health, Ian explains that men should “practice masturbating nearly to the point of ejaculation, and then stop”. Guys will be able to tell they’ve reached the mini-orgasm phase because they will experience one or two small pelvic contractions - but still can control ejaculation.
2) Make your penis a sex toy
Ian reckons that perpendicular sex positions, that allow guys to stimulate a woman’s clitoris without penetration, are favorable. He said: “As you each lie on your side facing each other, make a perpendicular between your shaft and her vulva. “Avoid penetrating, press your shaft lengthwise against her clitoris and gently move it back and forth.”
3) Having an average penis girth size