Men may talk about it more often, but women do it, too.
Once every 3 months at least, more than half of American women 18-49 masturbate, according to a study from The Kinsey Institute, and that's which is true for both single and married women. Myths still affect the way that some women feel about it -- and how they do (or don't) touch themselves, self-pleasure doesn't have the stigma it once did, says Nicole Prause, PhD, but a few things you should know about masturbation are explained here.
It's good for you.
Masturbating increases blood flow throughout your body and releases feel-good brain chemicals called endorphins. Even if you don't orgasm, that may explain why there's a clear mood benefit, says Prause, a sexuality researcher at UCLA. Research suggests it's a stress-reliever for both sexes and while men are more likely to talk about blowing off steam by masturbating. "It takes your mind [off your worries] while activating areas of the brain associated with pleasure," Prause says.
Her solo sessions are different from yours in a lot of ways. Learn the ins and outs of female masturbation
Your recipe for masturbation is pretty simple: A browser tab open to Xtube, and a five-finger grip with a bottle of lube deliver results in no time flat. But female masturbation is a bit more complicated.
They can't do it wherever they want, they don't always care about reaching orgasm, and they definitely aren't flipping through Fifty Shades as much as you'd imagine. So what happens behind closed doors? The secrets of female masturbation are to be read and discovered.
She's quicker without you.
On average, men have a faster orgasm than women, so the requirements are more intricate. do. It can take up to 15 or 20 minutes of foreplay as a woman's nerve endings to be stimulated and for the blood flow to get down into her genitals, explains Sadie Allison, Ph.D., author of The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris: Orgasmic Fingertip Touching Every Woman Craves.
She is a lot faster-going solo than she is with you in the sack as per current information. That could be because she's more focused on her own pleasure (instead of yours) or because she knows exactly what she wants. "Many women can be there in 2 to 3 minutes on their own, but will take 10 or more—or can't get there at all—with a partner. This is as per the words of sex expert Carlyle Jansen, author of Sex Yourself, a book which gives details about women's masturbation.
She doesn't do it quite as often.
There's a decent chance you'll give yourself a tug before the day is over when you wake up with morning wood. According to research, 55 per cent do it at least once a month and 25 per cent of men masturbate at least 3 times per week. But for women, those stats are considerably lower: Only 10 per cent of ladies report pleasuring themselves three times per week, and 38 per cent goes down below once a month.
How come? She might see not just a quick rub-and-go activity but self-pleasure as more of a production. The stigma associated with female masturbation can follow many women into adulthood and this could be one main reason behind it. "Most boys begin before they're 10," says Jansen, while "women start later, often in their 20s."
She preps differently.
"Men can be in a dirty gas station bathroom and rub one out," says Allison, but for the fairer sex, the environment is everything. Maybe she pulls out a special lubricant, lights a few candles, or draws a bath before starting self-pleasure. "A lot of women need their heads to be there, and if there are any distractions whatsoever, that can throw them off," she says.
Her touch is softer.
When you masturbate, you've got a firm grip, your fingers are clenched, and you stick to a rough, up-and-down motion. Women, on the other hand, tend to be slower, gentler, and more subtle.
"Think about if you had an eyelash in your eye and you were trying to rub it out," says Allison. "You'd pull your eyelid back and gently use your fingertip to rub around. That's how soft you should touch a woman's clitoris. Yes, that soft."
The clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the head of the penis, so it's super-sensitive to even the softest touch. Some women like it rougher—and they'll tell you if they do—but most need to be eased in gently before they can stand too much contact with their clitoris.
She explores her whole body.
While you pretty much have just one tool at your disposal, she likes to make masturbation a full-body activity. "Women tend to stimulate the whole body more—the neck, breasts, arms, and labia," explains Jansen. She might massage her nipples or inner thighs first before settling on her genitals. Comparatively, "men are generally okay with the beginning, middle, and end focus on the penis," Jansen says.
She doesn't always care about orgasm...
This might be the biggest difference of them all. When you masturbate, you probably have a clear goal in mind: bust a nut or bust. "But for a lot of women, whether you get there or not isn't the key," says Allison. Some women are satisfied with their self-pleasure well before orgasm occurs, or regardless of whether there's a climax. "It's more about taking time for yourself and giving to yourself in a pleasurable way," she says.
... She's going for seconds when she does.
When you ejaculate, it creates a huge physical release.
You need to push out all of that fluid from the prostate, through the spiral tubing, then through the testicles, up and out of the penis, explains Allison. This takes a lot of energy for the body. "That's why when [men] are finally done, it's over. They're like, ‘Whew, I need a nap.'"
It makes it more likely for them to go for multiple rounds as women's orgasms are physical, too. This is because they don't have the same refractory period after climaxing. Some don't stop at just one orgasm, while some women aren't necessarily vying for orgasm at all. Lucky ladies.