To do or not to do? That appears to be the case when it comes to anal sex and beginners. Upon reaching a point in your sex life where you might want to experiment a little more, either you or your partner would have entertained the thought of it. And if it has sprung up during conversations, it signals interest, no matter how vague or uncertain. Regardless of whether you end up doing it or not, it’s crucial that you talk about this with your partner. In-depth. If he or she is going to be the receiver, they’re going to have a muscly organ moving in and out of their anus and that alone should make you receptive to communicating about it.
People often associate back-door sex with pain. And yes it will be painful if your partner goes right in without foreplay or stimulation. Once you believe that it is going to hurt, your body naturally tenses up and fears the pain. The way out of this easy – a long discussion with your guy. That way, through the discussion, you guys can come to an understanding about, what can and cant be included in the anal play.
1) First things first. You HAVE to work on relaxing your anal muscles. And a really good way to prep your anus is by doing kegel exercises. Concentrate on the release of tension as much as you would on the squeezing of your anal muscles. Very often, people tend to focus too much on the strength of the contraction than the release of tension after the exercise.
2) Play with your bootyhole. Its necessary for you to explore anal play by yourself, to see if you would enjoy it. You may insert one finger into your anus with plenty of lube (keep reciting the words lube and anal together so that you will never forget how crucial the former is when it comes to the latter). Once you become comfortable with one finger, you can make it two or move onto small toys. Anal beads are perfect for beginners. Your partner might also want to consider performing a rim job on you. In which case you shouldn’t forget to wash up before.
3) Once you feel that you derive enjoyment from these, you can plunge into penile penetrative anal. Spooning is an optimal position for beginners as it permits intimacy, visibility and keeps your hands free. Spread open your cheeks so that your partner can correctly penetrate you. Getting the right angle from the beginning itself can make a huge difference. And if your partner encounters a lot of resistance, open up your sphincter muscles once the penis or dildo is outside the opening.
4) If your partner happens to be female, stimulate her clitoris as well. You should focus on other erogenous zones of the body. Flatten a few fingers and rub the clit in circular motions or diagonal motions (whichever feels better). This will go a long way in relaxing her.
5) Your partner should slather lube on (lots and lots cause the anus doesn’t self-lubricate like the vagina) and start with slow thrusts. Silicone-based lubes tend to last longer than water-based ones. And it goes without saying that they must wear a condom. Even with washing, the rectum abounds with bacteria that can cause infection. Your guy should go really slow at first. He can’t possibly penetrate you fully in the beginning. It could be that half is the perfect amount that can be taken in at once. You have to remember that this is the hole which is used for pushing things out, not having things pushed into it.
6) The last sentence in the above point is also what you should remember in case a mishap happens. I mean sure, you could empty your bowels before the sex but even if some fecal matter does come out, who cares? It’s a natural bodily function. Move on if this happens.
7) You remember how in porn, anal is always kinda rough? Your partner would have to be an utter dunce if he thinks he can just bust in there and pull your hair and yell profanities in your ear. Please do not be inspired by porn. Anal sex can be sweet and slow and filled with love and joy. And even if your partner does enjoy dirty talk, you can always infuse consent in your dirty talk.
Here are a few things you should keep in mind
- If you’re worried about loose stools, eat fibrous foods. Probably best if you avoid meat.
- You need to breathe evenly. Keep this in mind because its sort of natural to hold your breath during sex. A lot of people do this and its directly related to stress. Try some breath work to quell your anxieties
- Never ever switch from anal to vaginal intercourse without washing up first. Transferring the bacteria from the rectum into the vaginal canal can cause serious issues. Rather than just changing the condom, wash down your penis or the sex toy with soap and water to remove lubricants or body fluids.
- If you are under the impression that you cant orgasm from anal play, then this might be a shocker for you but the anus holds the second highest concentration of nerve endings in your body. Anal stimulation is also capable of stimulating your g spot as well, especially from new sensitive angles, making an orgasm much more possible than you think.
- It might take a few tries to get it right. And if anything feels painful or uncomfortable or unbearable, you should probably just stop. Take a breather if you want and then continue again. Or not. It's completely up to you.
- It's completely fine if you don’t happen to like anal sex. It's not for everyone and there's no way you should be indulging in it if you feel you don’t want it again.